Before I write about anything else, I must take a moment to
say, “Happy 2nd Birthday!” to my blog. It has been two years since I
made this blog as one of my New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve managed to be at
least pretty consistent with keeping it updated.
So happy birthday, blog. This is probably the last time I
will refer to you as if you were a live human being.
Looking back at my post from last New Year’s Eve, I had some
goals for myself. No, I didn’t run a 10k (but I got awful darn close), and no I
didn’t read 20 books (this whole year I thought I had set the goal at 15!). But
here are the books I did read:
1. The
Me I Want to Be – John Ortberg
2. A
Little Bit Wicked – Kristin Chenoweth
3. Mis-Directing
the Play – Terry McCabe
4. The
Last Song – Nicholas Sparks
5. So
You Want to Be a Theatre Director? – Stephen Unwin
6. Three
Weeks With My Brother – Nicholas Sparks
7. The
Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
8. The
Irresistible Revolution – Shane Claiborne
9. The
Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
10. Catching Fire –
Suzanne Collins
11. Mockingjay –
Suzanne Collins
12. Harry Potter and
the Sorcerer’s Stone - J.K.
Rowling (for the 2nd time)
13. Harry Potter and
the Chamber of Secrets – J.K. Rowling (ditto)
14. Harry Potter and
the Prisoner of Azkaban – J.K. Rowling (ditto)
15. Harry Potter and
the Goblet of Fire – J.K. Rowling (ditto)
16. Bittersweet –
Shauna Niequist
And yeah, I'll read 20 books this year. For real this time.
When I look back at 2011 I see so much change. A year can
fly by so incredibly fast, and yet when you look back, so many things have
happened within that short time. A relationship fell apart. I graduated college
and started grad school. My best friend got married. I moved back to Kentucky
while my family moved from Florida to Tennessee...twice. I started five new jobs and
two new small groups. I made new friends and re-established old ones that had
faded with time and distance. There was so much change this year.
I was hiking with my dad the other day, and as we trekked
along I was wondering what this year should be about. Learning? Travel?
Adventures? I found myself dreaming up all sorts of goals and things to
accomplish this year. This list of goals soon turned into worries about the
future. How will I know where to go? How will it all work out? When will I
figure things out? There is so much that I want to do and see and experience. I
don’t even know where to begin. I then found myself trying to plan everything.
Suddenly the span of my life was stretching before my eyes and I was trying
to organize all the details and orchestrate all of the happenings so that everything turns out just right.
And then, just as quickly as these chaotic thoughts rushed
into my head, they all raced out and left one simple, little prayer: “God, help
me to want what you want.”
God knows me. He loves me. He has a purpose for me and
actually wants to use me. I can’t do any of this on my own. I want his desires
to become my desires. If I can live this way, I know I will be led to
experience and grow in ways that I never could have imagined for myself.
I’ve been thinking about this post for a while, knowing that
I wanted to set new goals for myself in the next year. A phrase that just kept
coming back to me was “taste and see that the Lord is good.” So that’s what I’m
going to be doing this year. I’m going to travel and go on adventures and cook
and learn and read and grow and fall down and press on and cry and laugh...I hope I do a whole lot of laughing. I’m going to take Colossians 3 and do my
absolute best to live it every day. I’m going to love. I’m going to practice compassion,
humility, patience. I’m going to plead for wisdom and try my hardest to keep my
eyes focused on things above. And I will fail. I will fail over and over. But
it’s becoming more and more clear to me that my God is not a God that I have to
earn my way to. He is grace and he is mercy – two things I cannot live without.
So that’s my prayer for this year…and every year, really.
God, help me to want what you want.
Colossians 3
Living as those made alive in Christ
Since,
then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things
above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life
is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly
nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is
idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander,
and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old
self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or
uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in
all.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves
with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each
other and forgive one another if any of
you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as
members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you
teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs
from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in
the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit yourselves to
your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases
the Lord.
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become
discouraged.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it,
not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity
of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working
for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from
the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and
there is no favoritism.
