God is so good to me. I don't always understand his ways or why certain things have to be, but he always reminds me of his faithfulness and love...often through other people.
This has probably been the worst first week of school I've ever had. Huge disappointments right before school started seem to have caused a chain reaction. I haven't been able to sleep hardly at all. I'm not even really tired...except I know my body is exhausted because my eye twitches a lot (always a sure sign for me.) But I lie in bed for hours, wake up early, and can't seem to even take naps during the day. And, like all the other times I haven't gotten enough sleep, I have acquired a bad cold.
On top of that, I had a terrible audition last night. I didn't connect to either of the scenes I was given, and I couldn't understand what the director wanted me to do. And, to top it off, the freshman who was my reading partner for both scenes gave me a freaking line read when she was explaining something to me. How embarrassing is that. I knew I wouldn't be cast. It was just a bad night. Super distracted, super disconnected. My usual director told me today that he could see it on my face during the whole audition. Wow. I won't let it happen again.
So I woke up this morning tired, hacking my lungs up, and knowing I didn't get cast in a show. Not a great start to the day. But God, in his usual humorous way, didn't let me get very far before coming to meet me. I walked into chapel and we sang Before the Throne of God which is one of my favorite hymns.
"Because the sinless Saviour died, my sinful soul is counted free
For God, the just, is satisfied to look on him and pardon me."
He died for me. He pleads for me. He purchased me with his own blood. I am so loved.
After chapel, I went to check my CPO before class and two people I love very much had sent me cards to encourage me. One of the cards was from a friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend about a year ago. In the card I got from her today she wrote:
"You wrote down this verse for me when I was going through a tough time as well: Philippians 1:6 'So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.'"
I just stood right outside of CPO and cried. God suddenly reminded me of his word in 2 Corinthians 1:4-5
"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ."
I have been reminded over and over that sometimes we go through difficult times so that we can help others through them later. I've known this, but it was so beautiful to me today to see it come full circle. I went through a rough time, so when my friend went through the same thing I shared that verse with her. And now, I'm going through the same thing again and she is able to recycle the comfort right back to me. Isn't that so beautiful!
So it's Friday night. It's been a very long and difficult week. I'm sick and very tired. But God is good. All the time.
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