I Did It!

I did it! Exactly one year ago today, I started this blog with the intention of carrying it through the entire year. Seventy-two posts later, the year is over and I have accomplished my goal. At the end of last year, I set a four goals for myself:

1. Run a 10k
2. Give up soda
3. Avoid using plastic bags at all costs
4. Read 25 books

Of these four goals, I accomplished one. I finally gave up soda in June, and I've had maybe 6 sodas since then. Every time I have one, it just doesn't taste right to me anymore, and I hardly ever drink the whole thing. So hooray!

I also 'sort of' accomplished my goal of avoiding plastic bags. I try to remember to take in my reusable bags every chance I get, but when I forget, I bring the plastic bags back to the store to recycle. I feel that this should give me at least half credit for this goal.

As for the 10k...well, I just didn't do it. I can still run three miles pretty easily, though, and I enrolled myself in a class for next semester which will enable me and almost force me to get in shape, and my goal is to run a 10k at the end of the semester, right before graduation.

And the books...yes, the books. I think I read four books this year...so...not even close on that one. I feel like I should punish myself by reading 30 books this year, but seeing how miserably I failed at attempting 25, I think I'll try for 20 this year.

Whew.

So...it's been a whole year. It's 2011. This year has been looming over me for the past four years. It's graduation year. Crazy. A whole lot has happened this year, as always. I mean, it's a year. I'd feel pretty pitiful if very few things had happened.

Thinking back over the year, there were a few big events that come to mind immediately. I went to the Olympics as a TV reporter. I assistant directed my first high school show. My dog died. I had a super awesome internship all summer. I got dumped. I fell in love. My best friend got engaged. I went to my first UK game.

And then there were the small things. Like riding bikes with my friends all over town at 1 in the morning. Stargazing in the middle of the streets. Water balloon fights. Hanging out at a mansion all summer. Days on the beach with friends. Eating fro yo almost every night. Sneaking around where we shouldn't be. Taco Bell runs every other night.

It's been a great year. It's had its ups and downs, and I never thought I'd be here, but I couldn't be more happy about where I am. I have so much to be thankful for.

So what's in store for this next year? I know this blog was meant to only last a year, but I've really enjoyed it and really want to keep it going. But the other night as I was clicking "stumble" over and over on stumbleupon.com, I became more aware of the reality of my generation.

My generation wants to be heard. When we are hurt, or have an opinion, or are just plain bored, we change our facebook status. We write blogs, much like mine here. We send those emo pictures out into cyberspace hoping that guy or girl we are convinced is 'the one' will see it. You know, those ones that say things like, "You asked me what's wrong and I smiled and said, 'Nothing'...then I turned around and whispered, 'Everything." We twitter, sometimes obsessively about where we are, what we're doing, what we see, how we feel, who we're with...

But who exactly is listening? In this world full of a billion voices all wanting to be heard, how is anyone being heard above the rest? I myself like to think that other people enjoy reading my statuses and my blog. But how can my voice be different?

So here are my New Year resolutions:

1. Run a 10k...seriously.
2. Read 20 books
3. Every time I write a new blog post, instead of just rambling about my thoughts, complaints, desires, life, etc., I am going to include something in every post that will hopefully edify the reader. Whether it's a verse, a quote, or just a challenging thought, I want to write for people, not for myself. This also applies to my facebook statuses or anything else I post for the general public. I tend to whine and complain a lot. I tend to ramble. But I want to focus on encouraging people. Because if I'm going to be a voice, I might as well be a voice that edifies, builds up and inspires.

What's your resolution?

Thanks for coming on this journey with me, both in the past year and in the years to come.

Hebrews 12:12 – So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

 

Try to Remember

It's really hard to get used to not having a dog when you've had one since the 2nd grade. It just feels like something is missing in the house. And not just something... but someone. I've only been home for a day, but every time we walk into the house I expect to see my little doggy wagging her tail from the laundry room and begging to be taken outside.

Even tonight I walked through the kitchen to get something and automatically looked toward the laundry room where she sleeps, thinking I would see her curled up for the night. But it was empty. Nothing but a bag of her old dog food sitting in the corner.

My brother and sister-in-law were kind enough to surprise me by bringing their dog over last night so that I could be welcomed home by a cute, furry friend. It really helped...but of course their dog had to go home eventually, and now it just seems so empty here. I suppose I'll get used to it eventually, but not tonight.

Imagine All the People...

Isn't it strange how things can change so quickly? I'm often astounded at the brevity of life, and yet I find myself feeling like past events in my life happened so long ago. Other times I feel like they didn't happen at all, they were just a dream. Do you ever feel this way?

It happens with old friends. Someone you used to know from high school or when you were kids, someone you hung out with every day...and you see their facebook page or a picture and you're suddenly struck by the fact that you don't known that person at all anymore.

It happens with old relationships. Someone who was your best friend, who shared everything with you, who knew your secrets and dreams...and you see them a few years later and it seems like everything that happened was just a dream. Now they are a stranger and you think, "Wow. Were they really once the closest person in my life?"

Or it happens just with regular ol' life. Things you once thought you wanted seem so far away and irrelevant to your current life, and you wonder why you ever wanted them in the first place.

It's just an interesting thing to me...

Completely unrelated, my boyfriend introduced me to a website a few weeks ago where people can post pretty much whatever they want about anything they want. It's basically just a giant forum of nothing and everything. I've been reading through it pretty regularly, and I came across something today that shed a small ray of hope on humanity.

A guy from Florida had posted that his father was just murdered this morning, and he didn't know what to do. He was very lost and shocked. So far, 600 people have posted comments offering frequent flier miles to the funeral, suits he can wear (apparently he doesn't have one), places to stay, and words of sympathy and advice. All these people he's never met are offering to fly him up to the funeral and give him places to stay. A couple guys asked him to give them his address and sizes and they would overnight a suit to him. I couldn't help but be amazed at all these people reaching out to a complete stranger. It's so very encouraging.

It Goes On and On and On...

Two weeks ago I learned the true meaning of the phrase, "The show must go on." Five minutes before heading to our first dress rehearsal for The Last Night of Ballyhoo, I got a phone call from my mom. She very tearfully told me that she had to put my dog to sleep that day because of how sick she had gotten. I've had my puppy, Jazzi, since the sixth grade, and we were always together whenever I was home. She was probably the smartest dog I've ever met. She never learned any tricks and she couldn't be let outside unless she was on a leash or else she would run away. Most would blame this on stupidity. I stick to the idea that she was just too smart to do the stupid things we tried to get her to do. She knew there was no reason for it.

Anyway, I had to go to rehearsal right after the phone call, so I dried my tears and shuffled to the theatre. I had to consciously NOT think about it the entire night or else I dissolved into a weepy blob all over again. It was quite difficult, and I'm never one to hide what I'm feeling about things, so it was quite challenging. It still hits me hard sometimes when I see a little dog or something reminds me of it, but it's getting better. It sure will be weird, though, to go home and not see her waiting at the door for me. Yucky.

It's cold. So cold. I always liked winter...until I moved to Florida.

Anyway, my post-graduation options seem to be narrowing, which is a very good thing. I'm studying for the GRE...slowly, but surely. And I've found a few schools that I'd like to apply to, and I'm almost positive I can get into at least one of them. But we'll see. So the plan is to do a two or three year grad school study of theatre directing. After that, I can teach. Yay!

But last night, I realized that somewhere along the way of my search for what to do, I dropped the idea of performing after college. And I'm not quite sure what happened to it. Has my subconscious just been telling me that I'm not good enough to act professionally? Am I believing it? Or do I really just desire to direct more than perform? Am I too scared of the unknown and the possible rejection?

All these questions started filling my head at once, and they haven't really left yet. I presume the course I am on will not change, but it's just interesting to think about.

 

Oh, and I'm in love. It's fabulous.