Food for the Hungry

I have been blessed with so much. Everywhere I look I see God's blessings in my life. I have amazing parents who support me endlessly. I have fantastic friends who make me laugh and are there for me in times of trouble. I have received a wonderful education and am now working two jobs in my chosen field. I have the amazing luxury of being able to pick an outfit for the day. I have never known a day of true hunger.

I have more than enough.

I am once again reminded of the unfairness of it all. Why am I so blessed? Why was I born into such circumstances while others are born in areas of starvation and disease? I did nothing to deserve the things I have been given. Where is justice?

As I have been exploring these questions, I felt the need for drastic change. I look around me and see a culture that pursues happiness above all else - even at the expense of others. I see a culture centered around food (for entertainment, not out of necessity) and material things. And I see myself, more and more, falling prey to the pursuits of this culture. I find myself eating out of boredom, totally missing the value of food as a necessary substance for living. I find myself growing more and more passionate about those who are suffering from lack of resources...yet not knowing what to do about it.

Taking all this into account, I made a decision. A five day fast and in-depth study of poverty and global hunger. I chose The Master Cleanse method of fasting because those who have gone through it claimed that they learned to really read the difference between true hunger and boredom. They also found themselves with more healthy and self-controlled eating habits when they finished. They craved natural, organic foods instead of the old refined and artery-damaging ones (think The Daniel Fast).

I am starting the study with a podcast called Poverty: Unlocked - a Christian relief and development podcast created by Wendy McMahan and Food for the Hungry. It explores God's heart for the poor, the injustice issue, and the Christian mandate. Right now I am ending day two of my ten day journey and have already learned a lot about the causes of poverty.

I am not sure where I will end up at the end of these ten days. It may still be unclear what my specific response to this issue is but I will have gained a solid basis of knowledge for pursuing this even further as well as a renewed sense of the value of food and of self control. I ask that you would pray for me during this time as I want to be completely open to whatever God wants to place before me. I want to be focused and receptive, and I know that I need God to sustain me and draw me closer to his word and heart.

I'll post some more updates throughout the next week and a half and tell you what I'm learning about. For now, bed time.

Craft Day

Yesterday was Craft Day.

Huge success. Made these wreaths to sell at a gift shop.

We'll see how it goes and perhaps I'll be making more soon!

Stop in the Name of Love...

"[The natural life] knows that if the spiritual life gets hold of it, all its self-centredness and self-will are going to be killed and it is ready to fight tooth and nail to avoid that."

- C.S. Lewis - Mere Christianity

I have tried, multiple times in my life, to ignore God. I have never decidedly walked away from him in the sense that I didn't believe in him anymore, but there have been times when I have refused to listen to his voice in every way. I still prayed. I still went to church. I still assured him that I wanted his will to be done. And yet I refused to listen to him because of my selfishness.

These seasons of ignorance have resulted in very dark times during which I felt a very deep absence of joy. I usually tried to account for this absence with various excuses or explanations that never even slightly touched on the truth: I was ignoring God.

Over the course of this summer I have been learning a lot about God's love. This deep, infinite, undeserved love has become more and more real to me. It is a holy love - a love that is angered by injustice and hurt when its object chooses to walk away. A love that is relentless and passionate. And it has been through learning about this love that I have realized that I am happiest when I allow it to overwhelm me.

You see, those moments when I chose to ignore God were usually brought on because he was trying to save me from myself. He could see that I was doing things that were destroying me - things that were distancing myself from Him. And he loves me so much that he was calling to me, urging me to see the destruction happening and run back to his arms. But I refused. I didn't see it as love. I saw it as rules. I saw God as a police officer trying to keep me in line.

But even when I refused to listen, God loved me enough to go a step farther. He has, on each occasion, removed from my life the very thing that was causing my destruction. And although this has caused me a whole lot of pain and grief, and although I was always angry at him for allowing it to happen, I see it now through different eyes.

It was his love.

I can look back on each of these times and see, with ever-thankful eyes, that he was only saving me from myself. How foolish I was to blame him for my unhappiness and pain when he was gently drawing me towards a deeper joy that far surpassed anything I was trying to find for myself. He was pulling me, kicking and screaming, into his love. And, on top of all that, his incredible mercy and grace were also freely offered. He immediately forgave every hint of rebellion lurking in my heart and offered me a new way of life. He is the Healer of my every sorrow and regret. As it says in Psalm 32, "what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt."

This whole realization has been a very slow process. I also know that it is far easier to say this, in hindsight, than it will be to recognize it if and when it happens again. But it's a step. I can delight in the joy of knowing that God calls to me not so that I will follow a rule book, but because he loves me more than I will ever understand, and I can let that love overwhelm me.

"God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense."

- C.S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain

Hedwig's Theme

I'm not usually one to write movie reviews...but I just have to this time. Yes, this is a Harry Potter post and, yes, it does contain spoilers, so if you haven't seen it yet then stop reading and come back later :)

I'll give you a moment.

Already saw it? Still here?

Okay, here we go.

*please note that it's been two years since I read the last book, and I'm sure there are things I forgot about that people wish were included in the movie and weren't...but since I don't remember them, I am happy :)

Things I Loved:

1. Hermione and Ron's kiss. They nailed the moment. It took everyone by surprise. Everyone in my theatre gasped and started whooping and hollering. I was squealing with glee and clapping. It was absolutely perfect.

2. The dragon in the depths of Gringott's Bank. Usually dragons are always portrayed as dark and colorful, but the pale, almost translucent quality of this dragon was perfect. And the milky blue eyes only added to it's perfection.

3. Professor McGonagall's humor. We cheered when she took on Snape at the beginning and laughed with delight when she gave her, "I've always wanted to use that spell" line. Loved it.

4. Harry Potter. Period. I fell in love with him in this movie. It was, without a doubt, Daniel Radcliffe's best performance...and trust me, I'm not his biggest fan. But he really got to me in this one. I especially loved his performance immediately after he learned that he had to die. The walk to his immanent death was beautiful. Harry is a true and wonderful hero - knowingly walking into death for the greater good. This, more than anything else, was my favorite part of the movie.

5. The wide shots of Hogwarts' destruction. I loved the camera sweeps and angles. I really felt like my home was being invaded. This hit me especially hard when that first shot of the burning castle came up and you could see the Quidditch field collapsing. So many memories came rushing past as if I had been there with them for the past years, watching the games and cheering. It's incredible that someone's writing can make you feel so much a part of the world their words have created. And the colors, music, and tone set up by the movie makers made it so believable. Awesome.

6. The inclusion of Mrs. Weasley's epic line: "Not my daughter, you bitch!"

7. I loved the use of so many flashbacks. It really helped tie the entire story together and helped the viewer to remember where everything started and the huge journey they had been a part of.

8. Neville. Come on. He deserved that from the beginning. Poor little guy turned into a straight up stud.

Okay okay, now...

Things I Didn't Like:

1. The part near the end when Harry grabbed Voldemort and they "flew" around the castle for a bit. There was a lot of yelling, grabbing, and eventual fusing together of sorts...I just didn't care for it. It just didn't quite do anything.

2. Ginny Weasley. She will forever be the worst casting decision of the entire process. Such a huge letdown.

3. I kind of expected a huge moment of celebration and triumph when Voldemort was finally destroyed, but it didn't happen. I was expecting a huge cheer of victory, but instead we solemnly watched him disintegrate and float away...and then the next scene where Harry is walking through the castle and seeing everyone...it was just kind of anticlimactic and awkward.


So those are my thoughts. I enjoyed this cinema experience more than any other I've ever had. It was mostly the movie itself, but the crowd I saw it with was fantastic. There was cheering, laughing, gasping, and even weeping. I'm so glad that I decided to go to the midnight showing so that I could experience it with the most dedicated of fans who have loved this story for years and have followed it from the beginning.

Thank you, J.K. Rowling, for writing such a beautiful story of friendship, courage, loyalty, heroism, the battle between good and evil, and - most importantly - love.

Back in the Fryin' Pan

Let's face it - I've never been much of a cook. Anything that involves more than 4 ingredients has always intimidated me. But it's not that I haven't wanted to learn. My busy lifestyle has just always gotten in the way. Being involved in theatre means that when everyone else is getting home from work or class and has the time to prepare and cook dinner, I am grabbing whatever food is closest to my arm and heading out the door to a four hour rehearsal. And I love it, don't get me wrong, but now that I'm not on a meal plan or living at home, it's time to learn. So here, in all their glory, are my feeble attempts at cooking so far this summer.

The first attempt was very sad. Mexican quesadillas. Black beans, corn, green peppers, onions, etc. 

Sometimes simplicity is best :)

First time cooking tofu. Black beans with rice, green peppers, and hummus. 

I marinated the tofu in soy sauce first. Really good, but I made a little too much for one serving. 

Whole wheat oatmeal pancakes from scratch. Delicious! (thanks, Savanah!) 

Tofu quesadillas. I sauteed the tofu in oil and chili powder, then added green peppers, cheese, and onions onto tortillas. 

Mushroom Bruschetta with a side of fresh strawberries. Nom. 

Simple, healthy breakfast. Oats, milk, brown sugar, strawberries. 

Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Chunk cookies from scratch. 

Someone help me eat all these. They are literally sitting on a plate in front of me - begging to be eaten. 

Baked Alaskan salmon marinated in an array of herbs and lemon juice. 

One of my favorite things is to make breakfast for dinner. Breakfast is my favorite meal, so why not make it more than once in a day! :)

10 Things

I have learned since starting grad school:

1. I really want to teach at the college level some day. I will be teaching a variety of younger ages this fall, which will be awesome, but eventually I would love to be a college prof. You know...after the whole acting thing falls through :)

2. I have accidentally become a vegetarian. I'm not confident cooking meat yet (I always think I'll do something wrong and get sick), so since I left home...I just haven't. It's been three weeks. Every time I consider sticking with it I think about how much I would miss Taco Bell. Sad, I know.

3. The difference between grad students and undergrad students? Grad students come to class. Every. Single. Day.

4. I have learned how to draft a theatre stage design on large vellum and am in the process of learning how to creatively light a show. Fresnel, ellipsoidal, gobo, and cyclorama are currently at the top of my list of "most used vocab words." 

5. I do not really have a list of "most used vocab words." 

6. Theatre in the east (and the arts in general, even) is much more supported and respected than here in the west. Actors, artists, etc. are highly respected in eastern countries because the arts are considered to be a highly necessary means of preserving the culture. There are committees that support and oversee the arts, not to interfere, but to guide it in this preserving process. But here in American they say we have no culture. Artists are often seen as lowly, weird, and unnecessary. It's very unfortunate. 

7. Regular lunches comprised of a box of cookies, a liter of Mt. Dew and a bag of cheese puffs do not make for a good looking couple. Seriously, I have seen it first hand in the halls of the music department. 

8. Another difference between grad students and undergrad students? Grad students seriously want to learn. They don't bring their computers to class so they can surf facebook and watch movie trailers on mute. It's a great atmosphere of focus and contributing. (Granted, not all undergrads are the same. Many are passionate about learning. I've just experienced the opposite end of that spectrum quite often). 

9. We had a lady come in and talk to us yesterday about working in the theatre with special needs kids. It is absolutely amazing what theatre and acting exercises can do for a child with aspergers or LD. It can literally change their world. I loved learning from this woman. 

10. Along those same lines, I have found a new appreciation and joy for learning. I am soaking things up like a sponge and finding that no one has all the answers. No one can ever say that they have "arrived." There is no way to ever have enough learning. It's a beautiful thing. 

Summer Playlist

I may be a little late, but I have started compiling a summer playlist. This is strictly limited to songs that either get me in the mood for summertime fun or have come to my attention very recently and are subjected to my constantly pushing "repeat" on the old iPod.


1. "Price Tag" - Jessie J.
2. "This Year" - The Thrills
3. "Loving You Tonight" - Andrew Allen
4. "Tonight Tonight" - Hot Chelle Rae
5. "1+1" - Beyonce
6. "Turn on the Radio" - Reba McEntire
7. "Sweet Thing" - Keith Urban
8. "Shark in the Water" - VV Brown
9. "Rainbow Sleeves" - Sherie Rene Scott from "Everyday Rapture"
10. "Oh What a Day" - Ingrid Michaelson
11. "Without You" - Keith Urban

This is what I've got so far. I'd love to know what your favorite summer songs are right now, so feel free to send me a comment or an email with some suggestions and I'd love to give them a listen!